[#4] The Art of Listening

I want you to listen, no really listen, when you have a conversation with someone. Sounds easy right? Wrong. This is one thing that I have struggled with and it has taken years to actually listen to what people are saying. Here’s how to start improving your listening skills, while still being able to communicate effectively and efficiently with others.

Step 1: Don’t form your own responses while they are talking. You stop listening if you are mentally preparing your own response, counter-argument or are otherwise not focused on what the person is saying to you. And it shows, they will probably know that they’ve lost you.

Step 2: It is okay to process what the other speaker is saying. It is even okay in a meeting setting to jot down something they’ve said or an idea that came to you so you can come back to it later. Keep it short and simple. You don’t want to lose any important information on your end while they are talking.

Step 3: Understand when someone is listening to you. Do you ever feel like you are on the receiving end of not being listened to? It sucks and can be really frustrating. Do they jump right in as soon as there is a gap in your sentences? Do they talk over you? These can be signs that your message isn’t getting through. Learn from this and don’t do it yourself.

Step 4: Go back and read through this. It is short on purpose, there doesn’t have to be a magical science to listening to people. BUT, if you do truly listen people will respond to it. You can take a crap situation that someone is in, even if you can’t do anything to help, and ease their burden. People will be more receptive to you and your ideas if you are willing to give their thoughts a good listen. You do not have to agree with people, you do not have to like what they are saying, but at least listen.